If a dress had an answering machine

Hi dress,

It's me. I know you probably have a lot of admirers right now, but hear me out. I'll be good to you, baby; I can promise you that. If you'll be mine, I swear to adore and cherish you. We'll go to all the best parties together. You can rest on my shoulder whenever things get hard or whenever you feel like it, and I'll never push you away. Ever. In the winter I'll cover you with a jacket so you don't catch a chill, and in the summer I'll let you fly free. I'll bathe you gently when you need it, and make sure you don't sit in gum or wet paint or that kind of thing. I'll watch out for you. I'll love you. I'll treat you right.

Think about it, okay? We could be so good together. I just know it.